Snap!

Ok, I’m going to let you in on a little secret. My wife had kind of a tough time growing up. Well, I guess I did too. Come to think of it, you probably did as well. What am I saying? I would imagine the great majority of us did not come from a totally blissful childhood. So what?



We are all adults now and none of that should matter anymore, right? Well it shouldn’t but for a great number of us, there still lingers the tendency to look outside ourselves for the cause when things don’t go our way. My computer crashed. The traffic was a nightmare this afternoon. These stupid rules don’t even make any sense! Why aren’t people more considerate? Etc., etc., etc.



Actually I’m quite a positive thinking guy nowadays, but it wasn’t always that way. I began reading self-help and personal growth books many years ago, and I’ve come a long way toward being immune to negative thinking. I do have moments, but that is all they ever amount to being. Just moments.



When I am around someone who does happen to be replaying negative events in their conversation with others, I try to distance myself. I will leave the area if I can. There are times or situations, however, when this is not always possible. What happens when we’re talking about family members? At the risk of upsetting my wife and daughter, I’m going to let you in on a recent experiment we did.



I always wake in the morning all bright eyed and bushy tailed, ready to start my day filled with enthusiasm. That’s just me. My wife and my daughter, on the other hand, seem to take a little while to get in the spirit of things when they first wake up in the morning. There we are sitting together eating breakfast, when out of nowhere one will make a comment about something, and the other will inject a sarcastic remark or something in a negative vein.



I am very sensitive to maintaining a positive mindset at all times with no exceptions. If I make it known that something said was not very pleasantly worded, (for the sake of an example let’s say by my wife) she will then say “well our daughter started it when she said…”



Then my daughter would jump to her own defense and explain that she only said that because of some other reason. It always reminds me of the “he started it, she started it” scenario. I just want to scream I don’t care who started it, I’m going to finish it!



Well, Thinking about all of this one morning while my wife and daughter were still sleeping, I got an idea. I went digging through some old drawers to find three rubber bands. I had just found them when they were getting up. I was in an unusually good mood this day, even for me.



My wife asked me what the rubber bands were for, but I told her to wait until we were all three ready to sit down and eat. After everybody was ready to sit down at the table to eat breakfast together, I gave each one a rubber band. I put mine on my wrist and asked them to do the same.



They did so, although I sensed a slight amount of trepidation. This time when my wife asked me what these rubber bands were for, I explained:



“Anytime you have a negative thought I want you to snap yourself with this rubber band, on your wrist just like this.” I snapped myself to give them an example. Then I added “anytime any one of us says something negative, each one of us must snap ourselves. All of us.”



At hearing this, my daughter claimed injustice in that if it wasn’t her saying the negative thing, why should she be made to suffer the wrath?



I went on to explain. In reading a book by Joe Vitale and Dr. Hew Lin, Zero Limits, I learned that we are all responsible for EVERYTHING in our experience. That means not only what we think, say, and do, but also whatever we are aware of no matter who or what was the “cause.” If we are aware of it, we somehow have attracted that experience to our lives.



This was a tough pill to swallow for sure. Especially for me who always considered myself to be so positive. How could I be responsible for my wife and daughter’s negative conversations at the breakfast table? But I do believe what Dr. Hew Lin was saying in his book. (You’ve got to read it if you haven’t yet done so).



Anyway, my wife and daughter agreed. My daughter actually thought it was kind of a cool little experiment once she thought about it. So there we were eating our ritualistic breakfast, when before long, something was said. I snapped my wrist, and I pointed out that they each had to do the same. Ouch!



They did it, and then whoever it was that made the negative comment added that she wasn’t really being negative. She was only expressing the truth. Snap! Again I snapped my wrist and asked them to do the same. Then we continued eating.



Before long, it became apparent that this was probably the longest stretch of non-conversation we had ever experienced at the breakfast table. I wasn’t the only one who noticed, because my wife began to snicker. Our daughter asked what was so funny. I explained that it seemed everyone was afraid to talk now, and that I was actually enjoying the silence.



Then the conversation started up again. It wasn’t long before my wife said something negative. My daughter caught it first this time. She snapped her wrist and made sure we did the same. This made me proud!



By the end of our breakfast this day, we were all laughing and having such a good time. It was truly a transformational experience.



When I decided on doing the rubber band experiment, I wasn’t sure how long it was going to last. They both seemed to enjoy it as it really has raised our awareness of just how many times we let little negatives enter our thoughts and speech. We still wear the rubber bands, and yes you will still hear a few snaps every now and then, but the change in energy around this house in the mornings especially, has completely changed for the better.




I’m sorry I don’t remember where I first heard about the rubber band idea. It’s not my idea. I’m thinking it was from a book by Mark Victor Hansen or Jack Canfield. But the idea of extending it to include the entire family was my own idea using what I learned from Zero Limits.


And by the way, I did run this blog by my wife before I went to publish it to make sure she was ok with it. She laughed all the way through reading it. She gave me permission to share it with you, my friends.


Jeffrey Brandt
Author of Close Your Eyes to Find Your Way: A Guide to Discovering Your Higher Self.




All writings here are copyrighted by Jeffrey Brandt. You may not use them without written permission but you may link to the posts or give out a link to the posts.